When Leaders Go On Vacation
by RaitonDragon
Summary: Pein and Konan leave for nine months, Tsunade left to gamble, Orochimaru wants to focus on his research and A is sick. So what will Deidara, Naruto, Sasuke and killer B do? Why, become temporary kages of course! Gaara can already feel his migraine getting stronger (Semi-Crack, no Yaio). Rated T for Hidan.
1. 1: To be a leader: Deidara

Most of you are probably wondering "What the hell is she doing with a new story?" Well sorry but i wanted to try a hand at a Crack-fic. So here it is. I promise to update the other stories soon. Also please tell me what my new readers and old readers think of this. This basically takes place right at the beginning of Shippuden slightly before our dear love-able Kazekage gets kidnapped. So this story is kinda AU cause none of the events in Shippuden will ever happen.

Basically what happens is the first five chapters is happening at the same time but in five different villages. The main heroes are Deidara, Naruto, Sasuke, Gaara and Killer B. Basically all of them are gonna try a hand at politics.

I do not own Naruto.

When Leaders go on Vacation.

#1: To be a leader: Deidara

Deidara walked down the Akatsuchi lair. At the moment he had absolutely nothing to do. Everyone else was in their own rooms busy doing their own things. Deidara could very well go and bug his Danna. But where was the fun in that? Besides he did that yesterday.

Oh! He could swap Itachi's eye drops with concentrated perfume. Then he'd really go blind. Serves the bastard right, plus Deidara could have a good laugh about it. And if he got caught he could blame Hidan, or even better, he could blame Tobi.

Congratulating himself on such a genius plan the blond bomber set out to do just that. He was about to cross the hall way to go to Itachi's room when he heard strange voices.

"Oh! Oh! Ah! Ah!"

_What the hell! _Deidara thought. That sounded like Konan. It wasn't that hard to figure out who was making those sounds …they were coming from Konan's room after all.

"Pein-sama…._ohhhhhhhhh!_" Konan's voice sounded tired yet extremely seductive. Deidara could feel the blood trickling down his nose.

"You want me Konan?" Another tired yet equally seductive voice came.

"Yes! Yes! Pump! Pump! Faster! Faster!"

Deidara could feel the color rise in his cheeks. His nose bleed got ten times worse. He began to feel very light headed. His legs buckled beneath him. And the last thing he thought before he blacked out was: _Leader-sama is not a pimp, who knew?_

* * *

"She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes –_hic_. She'll be a Jashinist when she comes –_hic._ She'll be a Jashinist, She'll be a Jashinist, She'll be a Jashinist WHEN SHEEEE COMES –_hic." _Guess which drunk was singing (read screaming) at the top of his lungs.

The zealot stumbled into the hall way, all the while singing that stupid song. He was crossing Konan's room when suddenly his foot got caught in something and Hidan felt himself falling on ….a body?

"Mother Fucker!" he swore loudly when he saw an unconscious Deidara underneath him. "Oh hi! Blondie Barbie Bitch! What the hell are you doing here -_hic_."

"Hidan what is going on here?" Konan asked (demanded) as she opened her door slightly and peaked out.

"Oh Hay! Hawwwtie, wanna do me?" Hidan drawled while trying to get off the ground. For some reason he found that he was stuck to it.

Konan just stared at him. Was it really the alcohol or was he naturally this stupid? Not that interested in finding out the out she 'demanded', "Just take Deidara to his room." Before she slammed to door shut on his face.

"Mother Fucker!" Hidan swore once again. The least she could do was help him stand up.

_Nobody loves me! _He thought. Poor Hidan didn't know how accurate that statement was.

* * *

Deidara once again wondered down the hall way. Although this time not completely board. After all he was still trying to get the images Pein and Konan doing the deed out of his mind. Trying his best not to think about it he decided to carry on with his previous mission: Pop goes the weasel, as he had recently dubbed it.

Crossing Konan's room once again he noticed that the door was wide open. Curiously he peaked in and spotted his second-in-command sitting at the edge of her bed. Her face was covered by her hands and she appeared to be sobbing.

_Was the sex really that bad? _He thought.

Sensing someone in the room Konan immediately wiped her tears and looked up. Deidara winced when he saw a line of green snot running down her nose.

"What can I do for you Deidara?" She asked in a strained voice.

"You can get rid of that snot river!" Was what Deidara wanted to so badly say but instead he said, "What's wrong Konan un?"

"Oh Deidara!" She sobbed than got up and hugged him. The blond immediately stiffened. She was rubbing her snotty face on his clean white shirt.

Then while hugging him she threw up over his shoulder (A/N: They are both the same height). Letting go of him she sobbed even more, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"Um! It's ok…" he muttered. However it was not 'ok'. The poor sucker could feel the wetness right from his shoulder right to the bottom of his pants. "But seriously Konan your acting so weird un!"

"I'm sorry!" She said again finally calming down, "Can I tell you a secret?"

"Yeah sure you can tell me anything un." He said trying his best to ignore the wetness and the smell that came along with it.

"I'm pregnant." She abruptly blurred out.

_Wait what! _That caught him off guard completely. Feeling utterly confused and awakward Deidara said the first thing that came to his mind, "Ah…..errr… umm….really?"

_Clever Deidara! Really clever! _He thought sarcastically.

"Yes but that's not the worst part," She continued, "Pein wants to take me to an isolated resort for the whole duration of my pregnancy."

"But that's a whole nine months! un!" Deidara exclaimed.

"I know."

"But who's going to lead Ame and the Akatsuki till then?"

"Yes that's why I feel so miserable. I really want to go there and spend time with him but he's unwilling to go. Unless and until he finds someone who could be Amekage temporarily that is."

"That's really too bad un." Deidara muttered. Oh well not his problem.

"Oh I know!" Konan suddenly exclaimed. Than jumping up she grabbed the blond by the forearm and proceeded to drag him out of the room, down the hall, up the stairs until they reached Pein's office. Luckily they didn't come across anyone on their way there except Itachi. But semi-blind people didn't count.

*KNOCK*KNOCK*

"Who is it?" A voice came from inside.

"Pein open up its me Konan!"

"Oh the door is open come in." Not needing to be told twice, while still keeping a tight grip on Deidara's arm she pushed open the door and barged in. Pein looked up at the pair. He could smell something really nasty coming from Deidara and noticed that he was covered in …Something.

"Deidara what the hell are you covered in? And Konan what did he do this time?" He asked glancing between the two.

_Whenever something happens why does everyone automatically assume that it's my fault? _He was about to voice out his thoughts when Konan said:

"Pein great news I found you a substitute." Konan exclaimed. Deidara was dreading where this conversation was going.

"Oh really! Who?" Pein asked as eagerly as his partner.

"Him!" Konan pointed to Deidara.

"Him!" Pein repeated pointing to Deidara.

"Me!" Deidara exclaimed pointing to himself.

"But why?" Both men asked at the same time. Then turned and stared at each other awkwardly.

"Pein do you trust me?" Konan asked.

"Yes!" Pein answered without hesitation.

"Then trust my decision."

"All right Konan I trust your decision. Deidara today is your lucky day…. Starting next week your Amekage for nine months!"

"Yes finally!" Konan exclaimed, "I'll go get the papers, make the announcements and finalize the documents."

"Wait! Wait! Wait! Hold on a second UN, don't I get a say in this?" Deidara exclaimed waving his hands in the air.

"Why don't you want to become Amekage?" Pein asked. _What kind of idiot would turn down such a position?_

"No it's not like that….." The blond trailed off.

"Than what is it?" Konan asked, "Don't you want to be….. Powerful….."

"….._Powerful_….." Deidara repeated dreamily.

"….Rich…."

"…._Rich_…"

"…..With everyone's fate in the palm of your hands…."

"…_..In the palm of my hands….._"

*DEIDARA'S*DAYDREAM*

"Deidara! Deidara! Deidara! Deidara!" The crowd chanted as the blond stepped on to the stage. A statue of him made of pure gold stood behind him. Everyone literally worshiped him. Men held posters that said "All Hail King Deidara" while women held posters that said "Let Me Bare Your Babies" while children had posters that said "Art Is A Bang".

"Silence!" Deidara said with authority, and the whole auditorium went silent, "As the King I do hereby pass on my first few policies…..All optications are exiled from this country…."

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Itachi screamed, now he had to travel all the way to Konoha for an eye treatment.

"….It is compulsory to eat seafood for at least one meal a day…."

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Kisame screamed, "Not my people!"

"…Weed Kill is now free on the market…"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" White Zetsu screamed.

"That Bastard!" Black Zetsu cursed.

"YES!" Kakuzu rejoiced, at least he gets to keep his money…. Deidara smirked.

"…..And last but not the least, Kakuzu must be charged double the amount on everything even on items that are supposed to be free…"

Kakuzu screamed than fell to the ground, probably having a heart attack. But who cares?

"HAHAHAHAHAHA" Deidara burst out laughing.

*END*OF*DAYDREAM*

"HAHAHAHAHAHA" Deidara suddenly burst out laughing. To Pein and Konan he just looked like a chocking monkey high on crack (no offence to the monkeys).

"So Deidara will you accept my offer?" Pein asked.

"HELL YES UN!"

* * *

So this how Deidara becomes Amekage. Next Chapter: How Naruto becomes temporary Hokage. Please review and tell me weather i should continue this.


	2. 2: To be a leader: Naruto

I don't own Naruto.

When Leaders Go On Vacation

#2: To be a leader: Naruto

"Master I think it's time." A pink haired kanochi stated as she stood across the desk. Tsunade's head snapped up and she noticed her student glaring at the vodka bottle in her hands.

_Oh Gosh! Please don't tell me that my student thinks it's time I stopped drinking! But I'm menopausal I can drink as much as I want. Don't tell me this girl is becoming another Shuzine. Back off bitch the vodka is mine._

"Uh…. Master?" Sakura called abruptly snapping her teacher out of her thoughts.

"MINE!" Tsunade suddenly yelled and proceeded to press the vodka bottle in the area between her boobs, "My precious," she drawled while she seductively (creepily) stroked the bottle. ANBU captain Boar literally had a nose bleed –thank the Ramen gods for the mask.

"SHISHU," Sakura exclaimed. By now the Blondie had proceeded to gulp down the vodka at light speed.

"There!" Tsunade announced while she slammed the now empty bottle on to the desk. "My precious is within me now you can't have em!"

"Master I wasn't talking about your sake." Sakura said calmly. While inner Sakura screamed: _You can keep your vodka you old hag, I still have that stash of tequila I stole from you back at home! CHA!_

"Than what is it time for?" Tsunade snapped irritably.

"Isn't it high time Naruto came back from his training trip with master Jiraiya?" She asked.

"Hn now that you mentioned it they should be back any moment now." There was a strange glint in Tsunade's eyes. Sakura's trained eyes caught it as a form of excitement. _HN she must be excited to see Naruto …. Unless she's got a thing going on with master Jiraiya –NO NO Sakura, Bad thoughts! Bad thoughts! Old people are incapable of having an active sex life. That's why they're such prudes._

Sakura shook her head to clear off all the bad thoughts. Noticing this Tsunade asked, "What's the matter?"

"Uh….err …..N-n-nothing, l-lady Tsunade." Sakura finally managed to say.

"Well if you have nothing else to say than leave!" Tsunade said a bit too impatiently.

"H-Hai," Sakura said before leaving.

_PRUDE._

_Thank goodness. _Tsunade sighed in relief. _I thought 'no-chest' would never leave. Seriously being my student some people actually expected her to grow a pair of boobies. _Than reaching down to her bottom desk drawer she pulled out a scroll. Thus it contained the following contents:

(A/N: The words in bold is the letter, the italics are Tsunade's thoughts.)

**Dear Leaders of the World,**

**Bored of being locked up all day in an office? **_Of course it's so monotonous in here._

**Absolutely sick of that never ending piles of paperwork? **_Well DUH! I don't even know where they come from!_

**Have you had enough of those idiotic suborndates of yours? **_Tell me about it….. I mean seriously how dumb can one person get?_

**Want a vacation? **_Yes!_

**Wan to get drunk without a care in the world?**_ YES!_

**Want to gamble to your heart's content? **_HELL YES!_

**You are here by formally invited to an all expense paid stay at our luxury isolated island resort. **_HN! Finally a way out! _**For nine months you will be free of bitches, **_That damned daimyo, _**Old Hags,**_ Ah the fucking council, _**and bitchy old hags **_YES! No more Danzo._

**Tired of all this Politics, **_I'm engaging in politics even when in shitting in the bathroom! _**All these rebellions, **_Tell me about it Shuzine always rebels against my vodka! _**Sick of no one following your laws? **_I know right, even after three years Anko still runs around naked._

_But wait I can't leave who's going to take my place? The village will be ruined without me! Nine months does seem like a long time! _

**Worried about how to get a temporary leader? **_This thing read my mind again! _**Well look no further we took the liberty of jotting down things you can do! **_This ought to be interesting!_

**No.1: Claim that your partner is pregnant and want you to be alone with her for a while. Than grab the first blond sucker that walks into your room and declare him/her leader. **_Is this a sorry attempt at cracking a blond joke? Only a dumb looking punk with orange hair and piercings all over would try something like this! _(A/N: see what I just did there ;).

**No.2: Get someone trust worthy enough and /or stupid enough. Tell him/her that you're on a top secret mission that only Kages are allowed to do and convince him/her to pose as you! **_That's actually a really good Idea….. Maybe I should-_

*CRASH*BANG*

Before Tsunade continue, our favorite Cyclopes crashed through the window and landed on her lap. A vein throbbed on her forehead and her left eye began to twitch rapidly. The silver haired Junín drowsily looked up at his superior. Then as if in a daze he reached up and pinched her right breast. Then proceeded to give one big perverted eye-smile.

"KAKASHI!" She screamed. To Kakashi the woman looked like an erupting volcano. Then finally the man snapped back into his senses.

_OH SHIT! _The man realized a little too late. He quickly jumped off her lap and ran to the further most corner of the room. Tsunade stood up and began stomping towards him. Poor Kakashi stood there shaking like the pathetic coward that he is, "No! No! No!" he began chanting.

She was three steps away from him…. Like the man that he is, he began biting his finger nails.

She was two steps away from him… Like the man that he is, he began biting his toe nails.

She was one step away from him….. Like the man that he is, he started pulling out his hair.

Reaching out with her hulk like hands she grabbed him by the neck. Holding him high in the air she glared at him. Kakashi felt something very uncomfortable in his pants. Than one loud battle cry of "PERVERT" she flung him through the roof.

Only one thought ran through Kakashi's mind as he soared through the sky: _I'm blasting off again!_

Tsunade sighed then sensing two Chakra sources by the window she turned towards them. There standing on the window still in all their glory was none other than one Uzamaki Naruto and his perverted mentor Jiraiya.

"Naruto is that you?" Anger temporarily forgotten Tsunade exclaimed, "My how much have you grown?"

"Ha-ha! Hay old hag it's good to see you too!" Tsunade felt her anger return. Just because he grew out of his underwear doesn't mean he became smarter.

"Ha! But the same old brat!" than turning to her old friend she said, "And how have you been you old toad, I trust that everything went well during your travels?"

"Of course Hemi! Why would anything go wrong?" Before the Hokage could reply Naruto interrupted, "Hay by the way baa-Chan have you seen Kakashi-sensei by any chance?"

"No I haven't why do you ask?" Little lies here and there don't hurt.

"Well you see….." Naruto began….

*FLASHBACK*TEN*MINUTES*AGO*

"Hay Kakashi-Sensei it's been like forever since I last saw you." Naruto yelled at the top of his lungs despite the fact that the silver haired man was standing right next to him.

"Actually Naruto it's only been three years!" The Junín replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Naruto gave him a deadpanned look, _Geez Sensei why you gotta be so literal? Must be an old people thing after all. I mean look at purvey-sage getting no bed action at all turned him into a prude._

Naruto turned to look at Jiraiya who was… giggling while reading a porn book that he wrote himself. The boy sweat-dropped and secretly prayed that he didn't end up like that one day.

"Hay Kakashi-sensei I challenge you to a battle!" Naruto shouted while pointing at him. Kakashi sighed, than pulling out his infamous orange book he said calmly, "Alright Naruto we will."

Naruto's eye twitched, _He's not taking me seriously at all! How old does he think I am –twelve? How to get him to take me seriously? …..Oh I know…._

Mischief sparkled in the boy's blue eyes as he turned to his teacher.

"THOUSAND YEARS OF PAIN!" He roared and in a swift movement shoved his middle finger deep into his Sensei's …..ass.

Time stopped for Kakashi as he suddenly realized something was wrong. VERY. VERY. WRONG. Than before his mind registered anything else he was launched into the air.

Only one thing ran through his mind as he shot through the sky: _MY ASS!_

*END*FLASHBACK*

"… and then we saw him flying in this direction." Naruto finished.

"Uh-Hn…." Tsunade said. She slightly felt guilty for Hatake. Nah who was she kidding, knowing his luck the bastard must have probably landed in a hot spring somewhere. Turning to her desk the invitation caught her attention. Suddenly a plan formulated in her mind. "Umm…. Jiraiya!"

"Yes my Hemi?" he asked.

"Get out!" She said abruptly, "It's urgent I need to speak to Naruto so please leave."

"Fine." He pouted like a child and turned to walk out dejectedly.

"What do you need baa-Chan?" Naruto asked casually.

"Actually Naruto I've decided to assign you to a mission." At the word mission a wide grin made its way across the boy's face.

"What kind of mission?" he asked sweetly.

"It's a Super-Duper-Awsometagious-Epically-Incridible-Fant astically-Hotmazing mission." Tsunade finished in one breath, than began gasping for air. Naruto's eyes widened after every word and by the time she finished he was literally bouncing with excitement.

"A Super-Duper-Awsometagious-Epically-Incridible-Fant astically-Hotmazing mission!" Naruto repeated with glee.

"Yes!" Tsunade confirmed not wanting to repeat the statement again. But before Naruto could start celebrating Tsunade said, "However before I tell you anything must promise me two things!"

"Uhh….. Ok what's the catch?" Naruto asked with a calculating look on his face.

"Well Firstly this is a top secret S-rank mission and no one and I mean NO ONE except you, Shuzine and I will know about this!"

"Hai I promise not to tell a single soul, you have my word!" Naruto replied without any hesitation.

"Secondly I must warn you, this is a nine month long mission, it is a test of patience, tolerance and most of all determination! You must promise me that you won't back down, no matter what!"

"I promise Baa-Chan Uzamaki Naruto never backs down, no matter what. Cause that's my ninja way." Naruto proudly swore.

"Alright listen closely…"

*5*MINUTES*LATER*

"You can count on me old hag! BELIEVE IT!"

* * *

Ohhhh! What is this Super-Duper-etc-etc mission all about? If you want to guess go ahead. I left a clue somewhere in the letter. Please REVIEW! Oh and remember this is a Semi-Crack-fic so crazy random things aren't gonna happen all the time. Oh and next chapter is dedicated to everyone's favourite pedo and plushie (a.k.a Sasuke).


	3. 3: To be a leader Sasuke

I don't own Naruto.

When Leaders go on Vacation.

#3: To be a leader: Sasuke

Somewhere in the middle of rice country there was a village. Somewhere in the middle of that village there was an underground base. Somewhere in the middle of that base there was a laboratory. Somewhere, and I know this is getting annoying but, in the middle of that laboratory was an office. And finally somewhere in the middle of the office was, you guessed it, Orochimaru.

Dang! It took us a while to find you Snaky-snaky-pedo-kun, I mean Orochimaru.

*AHEM* Awkward…. On to the story…

So anyways if anyone was wondering what the third point of that letter addressed to the Kages was, well you're in luck! Orochimaru was about to put the third point into action right now.

"Kukukuku!" He laughed softly to himself. _Finally an opportunity for us Kages to meet in a social gathering! I'll show the rest of them that contrary to popular beliefs I am not a philadelphy! Then Finally! FINALLY! I can make friends! By flirting with every woman there I will show them that I am not interested in children!_

Err…. Right Orochimaru you go do that.

"Kukukuku!" He laughed once again. The aspect of going on vacation and making friends was, dare he say it, getting him excited. He had to resist the strong urge to stand up, clap his hands and squeal like a hyperactive school girl while hopping. Taking a deep breath to calm himself he bit his thumb, formed the necessary hand signs and called out:

"SUMMONING NO JUTSU!"

Two small messenger serpents (each about one foot tall) suddenly poofed into existence. They each first observed their surroundings than turning to Orochimaru they bowed their respects and said, "How may we s-s-serve you mas-ster?"

"Go find Sasuke-kun and Kabuto-kun and bring them to my office immediately." Orochimaru ordered. Than with a quick bow and reply of, "Yesss master," from the two snakes they set off to get the task done.

* * *

At that very moment on the outskirts of the village, in one of the training fields a loud cry of, "CHIDORI!" was heard. Than not a second later a loud "BOOM" sound echoed throughout the field and was followed by an eruption of smoke and rock debris.

When the smoke cleared there stood in the middle of the field the magnificent Uchiha Sasuke in all his glory. He was shirtless, with sweat rolling down his pale muscles. The sun shined from it's angle behind the trees making it seem as if he was standing under a spotlight. A small rustling sound was heard through the bushes and a pair of eyes snapped open to reveal blood red Sharingan eyes.

"Booo!" The snake summoned boo-ed from the sidelines. He wasn't that impressed with the imagery.

"What is it?" Sasuke asked a little impatiently.

"Orochimaru-sama has summoned you immediately." The small creature said.

"Hn!" Sasuke replied.

Seriously Uchiha you really need to expand your vocabulary.

* * *

Back in the laboratory Kabuto walked leisurely down the hallways, while humming a song by Linkin Park to himself. His gloves were covered with blood and the same substance was smeared all over his lab coat.

To his left and his right there were cells, you know the ones which are usually found in dungeons with the big iron bars and red eyed prisoners behind them desperately trying to reach out for you.

However in this case the prisoners behind the bars held up posters that said things like "Go Die Bitch" or "Rot In Hell" they even had a poster that said "What Died Up Your Ass."

Kabuto ignored the first two but after reading the third one he just had to stop and think: _Who the hell gave them the materials to make posters in the first place?_

Once he reached the end of the long hallway he made a sharp right turn and came face to face with a small snake. The one foot long snake slithered up his body and came to rest on his shoulder. Kabuto asked the little snake, "What is it?"

"Orochimaru-sama has requested your presence." The snake replied calmly before poofing out of existence. Kabuto's eyes widened at the news. _Could it be? Is it finally time?_

*FLASHBACK-NO-JUTSU*

It was a fine summer afternoon and Kabuto sat quite comfortably on his favourite armchair, in the library, reading an interesting orange book.

*Ahem* No it is not the porn book that Jariya is famous for, Or the one that Kakashi reads openly, Or the one that Kankuro hid from Temari only to find Gaara reading it later, Or the one Itachi burns every time he finds Kisame reading it. No Kabuto is not reading that orange book... Get your mind out of the gutter people!

Anyways...

"Kukukuku!" He was so engrossed in that book that he did not notice when someone walked into the room. Turning around he spotted Orochimaru sitting in the corner of the room reading reading a letter and laughing softly to himself.

"May i ask what is it? Orochimaru-sama." Kabuto said looking curiously at his master.

"Kukuku, Kabuto i have decided to go on a trip." The Sanin replied looking up from the scroll.

"Oh really," The silver haired ninja didn't really know what to say, "What kind of trip?"

"Why a research trip of course my dear Kabuto-kun," Orochimaru replied with glee in his eyes.

"Then i will begin with the preparations of this trip immediately," Kabuto said dutifully.

"Oh that is not necessary Kabuto-kun," Orochimaru said quickly, "This is a journey i wish to embark on by myself."

"For how long will you be gone master?" he asked.

"Oh for a mere nine months." The sanin said casually.

"FOR NINE MONTHS!" Kabuto exclaimed completely out of character, than catching himself he calmed down and asked, "What about the body transfer jutsu?"

"Kukuku," Orochimaru laughed, "Silly boy you think i haven't considered that? These nine months are important to me so i must go. But i have made preparations for a body preservation jutsu."

"I've never heard of such a thing." The 'silly boy' said looking confused.

"Must you ask so many questions?" Orochimaru replied impatiently, "I have prepared a jutsu that will stop my body from decaying for an entire year and when i return from my trip Sasuke-kun's body will be mine! Kukukuku!"

_And he wonders why people call him a pedo. _Kabuto watched his master attempt an evil laugh and sweat dropped.

"But who will take over the village while you're gone?" Kabuto questioned interrupting his master's laughing session.

"That you will find out in due time my little follower." Orochimaru said leaving the room, "All in due time."

*END*FLASHBACK-NO-JUTSU*

_Orochimaru-sama will have to choose me. _Kabuto thought confidently, _After all i've been his loyal servant for years now! I have a wide knowledge in the field of politics and am quite experienced. Surely Orochimaru-sama knows that i always play by my strengths and i never make rash decisions. What choice does he have? He will choose me. _

While amusing himself with thoughts of power and ultimate control, Kabuto reached the office and pushing open the large doors he entered. Looking around he found Orochimaru sitting behind his desk talking to an impassive Sasuke who stood in front of him.

"Oh Kabuto-kun you're on time, I've just finished repeating to Sasuke-kun about my trip." Orochimaru said once he noticed the silver haired man.

"Oh i see master." Kabuto said walking up to them.

"But Orochimaru-sama who's going to take your place?" Sasuke asked for the first time in a long while.

"kukuku,i was just about to inform you about that." Orochimaru said looking at both his subordinates, "The one who will take my place as Otokage is..."

* * *

Now at that very moment the sound village itself was very peaceful. There were children playing on the streets. Shopkeepers, sales-men/women and workers in general were going about their business. Birds were chirping in the air and old ladies sat on park benches and gossiped with each other. Even the ninja's were relaxing and taking it easy as they had no missions to go to at this time of the week.

"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The loud shreik was heard all throught the village. Lets just say that on that day more than eighty percent of the population in Oto went deaf.

* * *

Back at the office Orochimaru and Sasuke turned around to look at Kabuto and silver haired Jounin had taken to sitting in a corner with his face in his hands and a depressing aura surrounding him. Was he crying?

"But Orochimaru-sama! Why HIM?" Kabuto sobbed and he glared and pointed at Sauske.

"Kabuto you must understand that-" Orochimaru tried to explain but was cut short.

"NO! This is not fair!" Kabuto screamed looking like a five year old child who hadnt got what he wanted.

_Is he throwing a bitch fit? _Un-be-knowest to both sasuke and Orochimaru they were both thinking the same thing.

"Understand! What am i to 'understand'?" Kabuto began to rant now, "Orochimaru-sama i do everything for you. Never once have i said no! You say 'Kabuto go spy on Konoha,' and i spy on Konoha. You say 'Kabuto go start a war,' and i start a war.

You say 'Kabuto give me a back rub,' and i give you a back rub. You say 'Kabuto betray Sasori the benefits will be great,' and i betray Sasori but are the 'Benefits' great? Benefits! Ha what benefits were you even talking about?

Also when the time does come for me to recieve a reward for all this loyalty what do i get? That's right NOTHING! It's always Sasuke-kun this and Sasuke-kun that or Sasuke-kun you are so amazing! I sware man you act like a fangirl in heat!"

Finally Kabuto stopped his whinning and taking a deep breadth he calmed down and looked around. Only he found the room empty.

"Orochimaru-sama... Sasuke-kun..."

* * *

Back in the sound village all was quite as poeple tried to regain their hearing. When...

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Needless to say that after that day the village became known as: The Hidden Sound Village: The Village Of the Deaf.

How Ironic.

* * *

Well thats chapter three for you. Also a reviewer asked me about who would be replacing Gaara since he's Kazekage, my answer to you is that it's a surprise for chapter five. Next chapter we meet Killer B YAY! Please review!


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